I’ve never talked to a parent who found this role to be easier than expected. Without exception, people I know say parenting is the hardest thing they’ve ever done. We love our children, but the strains of this job are many. One recent client--I’ll call him Manny-- spoke of a child who yells and throws items off tables when he doesn’t get what he wants. An experience such as this can be highly distressing. Manny felt anxious and cross whenever his son went into a frenzy. Times such as this can be enough to make a parent question why he wanted to become one in the first place.
This is precisely the time when one should in fact revisit that topic. Presuming you’re a parent, why did you want to become one?
Manny wanted to have a positive influence on his child’s life. What better time than when the child is out of balance? A screaming scene is an opportunity for Manny to show his son that, in the face of tension, he can remain emotionally balanced.
This strategy could be described as reaching for the higher principle when an aspect of life has become difficult. This ability of course applies to other things: relationships, jobs, degree programs, diets--anything that begins in enthusiasm, and calls for a philosophical frame of mind when the going gets tough.
Manny decided to work on remaining calm when his son acted up, so that he could model the ability to be centered in the midst of disturbance. Manny left his session thinking, I can be a positive influence on my child.
You're reading the Bad Thoughts Blog, which maintains that feeling good is as simple as thinking a better thought. I'm Debbie Covino, hypnotherapist, coach, and creator of the Master Your Own Mind self-hypnosis program, available at www.hypnotic-wellbeing.com/store
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