I have had numerous clients who wish they were more outgoing. Talkative people, they believe, have more friends, make more money, and generally have more fun. They’d like me to use the power of hypnosis to turn them into someone wholly different. In response, I spend a few minutes explaining that in hypnotherapy, we rarely want to take anything away, only to add resources and options to a person’s ability to respond to life. This is because just about every trait or quality we have is valuable in the right situation.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) speaks of the Context Reframe, which occurs when a seemingly undesirable behavior or trait is conferred a positive intention. We ask the question, In what context or situation can this behavior or trait have value or be useful? Again, almost all behaviors are useful in some context. Here's an example: A recent client failed to speak up in a meeting and thinks she's too quiet. An NLP Context Reframe encourages us to ask,
When is quietness useful/valuable?
We know that quiet people tend to be analytical and thoughtful, an observation made by Susan Cain's 2012 Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. Should my client want to be able to speak up in a meeting when that's called for? Yes, of course. We want to add this ability to her repertoire of possible behaviors when appropriate, and we can work on this through hypnotherapy. This way, she can both value her nature as a quiet person and speak up in meetings. She can think, It's just fine that I'm an introvert.
The context reframe is useful for statements such as: “I am too this or too that.” Simply ask yourself, When or where would this behavior be useful or viewed as a resource?
You're reading the Bad Thoughts Blog, which maintains that feeling good is as simple as thinking a better thought. I'm Debbie Covino, hypnotherapist, coach, speaker, author, and creator of the All Day Hypnosis© series, available at www.hypnotic-wellbeing.com
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